NicholasMullins.com

I Don’t Post Here Often (But I Needed To Today)

Nicholas Mullins — Sun, 15 Jun 2025 18:16:41 GMT

I don’t write on this blog very much.
This site has always been for me, not for traffic, not for followers, not for likes or shares.
I don’t post links on social media. I don’t expect anyone to read it.
I write to get thoughts out of my head and into the world, because sometimes just saying it silently isn’t enough.

June is Men’s Mental Health Month.
And that means something to me.

Some Days Are Just Heavy

I don’t talk about my feelings much.
Not because I’m ashamed of them, I’m not.
But because I don’t like burdening others with them.

That’s the thing about being a man, right?
We’re taught to carry. To hold it together. To be “fine.”
Even when we’re not.

I don’t really have anyone I talk to about this stuff.
No close friends.
Family? I keep it surface level.
My wife? She’s incredible, but she already carries enough. She shouldn’t have to carry me, too.

So I write.

Sometimes it’s at mullins.io, sometimes it’s on eninem.com, sometimes it’s here.
Sometimes it’s in a private doc I never publish.
But writing gives the pressure in my head somewhere to go.

When Your Body Breaks, Your Mind Feels It Too

The last couple of years haven’t exactly been a highlight reel.

I was diagnosed with colon cancer.
Had two surgeries to remove it.
Then dealt with two bowel obstructions just to keep things interesting.

When I first heard cancer, I didn’t know if I was going to die.
That uncertainty weighed on me heavier than anything I’d felt before.
It turned out to be manageable, “not too bad,” in relative terms. But that doesn’t erase the mental toll it took in the meantime.

Even after the cancer was gone, things didn’t go back to normal.
Some of the daily struggles stuck around.
Some of them always will.

That changes you, physically, mentally, emotionally.
There’s a quiet fear that lingers. A frustration with what used to be easy. A pressure to pretend like everything’s fine now that the big, scary part is “over.”

So I try not to dwell on the past.
I don’t camp out in the present either, because honestly, some days just aren’t that great.

Instead, I focus on the future.

That’s where the hope lives.
That’s where the work continues.

I tell myself:
Put on your big boy pants.
Push forward.
Never be satisfied.
Keep improving.
Be better, for myself, for my family, for the life I still get to live.

Loneliness Isn’t Always Obvious

You can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone.
You can be loved and still feel like no one really knows how heavy it all is.

That kind of loneliness hits different.
And men, especially, are trained to sit in that silence.
To bottle it up.
To pretend we’ve got it handled, even when we don’t.

But we don’t have to.

Not anymore.

Mental health is talked about a lot more now than it used to be.
There’s space for honesty.
There’s room for being not okay.

Therapy Isn’t for Me — But Something Is

Terapy isn't for me.
Maybe it’s the format. Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s both.

But writing? Writing works.

Writing lets me process things without filtering them for someone else.
It lets me say what I need to say without needing to explain it.
It’s how I offload the mental garbage before it piles up too high.

You don’t need the same outlet I have, but you do need something.
Something that helps you not carry it all alone.

So Why Am I Posting This?

Because saying it out loud matters.
Even if no one reads it.
Even if it’s just me hitting “publish” and walking away.
It’s still real. It still counts.

If you’re a man holding it all in, please know you don’t have to.
Not today. Not anymore.

You can talk. You can write. You can rage-journal or scream into the void.
Whatever works. Just do something with it.

Because the weight doesn’t get lighter by pretending it’s not there.

This is how I carry mine.
And maybe, just maybe, it helps someone else carry theirs.

How It's Going and What I'm Currently Up To

Nicholas Mullins — Sun, 09 Feb 2025 20:39:30 GMT

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share a little update on how my recovery from colon cancer is going, along with some insights into what I've been up to lately, how life is treating me, and any other random thoughts that pop into my head.

Cancer Update

I’m happy to say that I’m cancer-free now. I had my ileostomy reversed back in March of last year. Things aren’t quite back to how they used to be, and they might never be, but I’m definitely feeling better overall. I still experience some "stomach issues" that make me a bit anxious about being away from home for too long. While my symptoms have improved a lot since March, I’ve been told that this is likely the best I can expect. But honestly, I’m not complaining at all; I’d much rather handle these side effects than face what could come from a cancer diagnosis.

Getting diagnosed with cancer completely changed my perspective on life. I used to grind through twelve-hour workdays nearly every day, but I've mostly stepped back from that. Sure, there are still times when I have to put in some late hours, but I'm really focusing on achieving a healthier work-life balance now. I still love what I do and aim to make an impact and advance in my career, but it's no longer the top priority for me.

General Update

I've been feeling pretty worn out for the last year and a half, likely due to the cancer and all the surgeries I've been through, but it's time for me to start moving again. I've made the decision to hit the gym once more. Cardio isn't really my thing, so I'm planning to focus on weight training instead. I used to follow the StrongLifts 5x5 program and I'm excited to dive back into that since I saw some solid progress with it. The toughest part about going to the gym is actually establishing the habit—not the lifting itself, but getting up early and making it a regular thing. It might take a few weeks, but I'm determined to find my rhythm again... fingers crossed!

Work has definitely been tough lately. I've been stuck on this massive project for nearly two years now, which was originally supposed to take up only about a quarter of my time. Instead, it’s consumed way more than that, making me feel like I’m falling short in other areas of my job. Even though others assure me that I’m doing fine, I tend to be my own worst critic. On top of that, the current job market is rough, with layoffs happening and my company pushing for a return to the office, which adds to my stress. While the RTO plan shouldn’t directly affect me since I can’t go back to the office for medical reasons, it’s definitely putting pressure on my team. They’ve grown used to working from home for almost five years now, and while a few are excited about the idea of being in an office, many are not. I’m trying to encourage my team to keep an open mind about the RTO plan and not dismiss it outright before we see how it plays out. That’s really all I can do.

Random Thoughts

I'm really thrilled that the Detroit Tigers made it to the playoffs last season, and I can't wait to see what unfolds with the Detroit Red Wings and Detroit Pistons. On the flip side, I'm pretty bummed about how the Detroit Lions' season wrapped up, but I'm super optimistic about what lies ahead. The team is just a few key players and some injury recoveries away from not only reaching the Super Bowl but actually taking home the trophy. Honestly, this year's Super Bowl doesn't get me hyped at all. I'm over the Chiefs, and the Eagles aren't really my thing either. I’ll cheer for Darius Slay, but as for CJGJ, he can take a hike. The Lions have a bright future ahead, and I'm curious to see how they approach the draft and free agency. Myles Garrett could be a great addition to bolster the defense, but I worry about what we’d have to give up to snag him. As for Cooper Kupp, he could be a solid fit alongside St. Brown and Jamo, but I’m questioning the cost and whether we really need him.

Video games are a major passion of mine, but I haven't found anything that really grabs my interest lately. I'm looking forward to the Switch 2, though I'm a bit worried about the direction game prices are taking. I prefer collecting physical copies over digital ones, except when it comes to PC games. I get that the prices for physical games have been pretty stable for a while, but the buzz about $100 games is definitely raising some red flags for me. That's a big leap from the usual $60. I'm hoping to find some games that really resonate with me soon. I'm particularly excited about Wolverine, especially if it plays like Spider-Man, Spider-Man: Miles Morales, and Spider-Man 2.

I'm wrapping up my updates for now, but I'm aiming to share more often. If you're interested, check out my other blogs too! I write about technology leadership over at https://mullins.io, and I'm also planning to share my gym journey at https://eninem.io.

Road to Recovery

Nicholas Mullins — Sun, 08 Oct 2023 22:59:34 GMT

First, I will apologize for the last blog post. I was not doing well at the hospital. I was completely honest though. I do not do well at the hospital and do not like nurses trying to force strong opiates down my throat.

I am home now. My white blood cell count dropped from 19 yesterday to 11.5 today. It is still high, but hopefully rest and antibiotics will get it to normal. Antibiotics are the only drugs I went home with. The pain is not terrible. I have had worse pain. Moving is still difficult. The first thing I did when I got home, after petting my dogs, was to take a shower. I was exhausted after the shower. The exhaustion was a combination of my body healing, my body compensating for the wounds, and the fact that you cannot any quality sleep in the hospital.

There was a sign on the wall of every hospital room, and I actually think it was a sign per hospital bed. The sign had text about how they wanted you and your family to rest comfortably. I got zero rest. I do not blame the nurses or other hospital staff. They have a job to do which is why every time they came in my room I would quiet whatever I was watching and do whatever they needed me to do. My biggest problem is the timing of things. I did not have a gap longer than an hour and a half where no one was coming into my room. Many times they were coming into to give me a shot, draw bllod, or move my IV, and I am appreciative for all of it. I just wish there was a way to give patients more time for rest. I was there Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. I might have slept a total of 6 hours. I have always heard that rest, and most importantly sleep, is crucial to recovery, yet I could not get any. Again, I understand why I didn't get rest and sleep,but I wish a new approach could be found. I am not even going to mention how uncomfortable the beds and chairs are.

Ok, now I will cover a little more about what was done and what is next. I will get into some not-so-pretty details so if if that is not your thing, stop reading now. I am posting everything, including the nasty stuff, because people think they are alone in this and they are not. My first couple blog posts about this had a few people reach out to me. Some said they felt alone and they were glad I was opening up about this. One thing they all had in common was their support, even if they didn't personally know me.

Last chance to click away...

I had a pre-surgery doctor's appointment 2 days before the surgery. He went over what he would be doing. He politely called me fat, about 10 to 15 different times during the appointment. He apologized each and every time. I actually laughed the last time. He was not being rude. He had to be honest. Due to being overweight the surgery was going to be slightly more difficult. It meant he would need to make an incision for his hand to assist in the operation. This means I have some normal laparascopic incisions and a larger incision where his hand assisted. My larger size also meant it would be more difficult to get the stoma through my abdomen. Yes, I have a stoma. I have am ileostomy. A loop ileostomy to be more precise. This is not permanent. I will need to have another surgery in approximately 6 weeks to reverse the ileostomy. I have it to allow time for my colon to heal. The surgeon told us there were some difficulties during the surgery. I had a 2.5 inch tumor, but he removed 14 inches of my colon. Tjey actually brought in an oncologogist or oncology surgeon or something like that to help them identify all of the edges so that if the tumor is indeed cancer, it was all removed. Better than safe than sorry I say. You may think 14 inches is a lot, and it is, but we have approximately 20+ feet of colon so it is not as bad as it sounds. I mentioned the laparascopic incisions, which there are 2 or 3, and I mentioned the incision for his hand. I also have stoma, which, if you don't know, is literally your intestines sticking out of your body. I have one more hole and that was for a JP drain. I Googled it to find out exactly how it worked and what it was for. A tube on one end and a bulb on the other. The tube goes into your body. The bulb stays on the outside. The bulb has a drainage hole with a lid. Nurses would drain the bulb and then compress the bulb before putting the lid on it. I wondered why they did this so I researched. It is a very simple concept. The bulb will try to decompress and create a suction effect. This suction would draw out blood and other fluids from the surgical area. I had this tube removed today. It did not hurt, but felt very weird. I also had a Foley catheter for a couple of days, but that is normal. This is another thing that was not necessarily painful to have removed, but definitely not pleasant. I had to drop all notions of modesty and decency for this surgery. Nurses and nursing assistants would clean the catheter area, they would clean and bandage my incisions, and they also had to empty my ostomy bag. I literally apologized every single time I had to ask them to empty it. They do it all day, every day, but I do not so it was quite embarrassing and disgusting to me.

So what is next? Next I will go see the surgeon in 5 days so he can remove the staples from the incisions. He will also remove the bridge from the stoma. What is a stoma bridge you ask? Apparently it is a metal rod through the stoma to make sure it does not sink into my abdomen. If it sank into the abdomen that would be very bad. Once that is done I will continue healing and in approximately 6 weeks I will have some scans to see how well the internal healing is going and if my body is ready for the ostomy reversal. My body may be ready at that time, but I do not think my mind will ever be ready for another surgery. I will need to meet with an oncologogist, but since the entire tumor was removed I should not need to have any additional cancer treatment.

I will probably keep this blog updated throughout my recovery. If you made it this far, I thank you for reading. It was, and is gross, but it is something people go through every day and I want them to know they are not alone. If you have a change in bowel habits or have bleeding while emptying your bowel, please see a doctor. It is not something that you should just see if it goes away. I brought it up to a doctor 3 or 4 years ago and at every appointment after that. He didn't think it was anything that needed further investigation. I got a new doctor this year and he immediately sent me to a specialist and that is how I ended up here.

Post Surgery Update

Nicholas Mullins — Sat, 07 Oct 2023 17:57:10 GMT

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

I am writing this while sitting in a hospital bed. They removed 14 inches of my colon. I have some pain in the abdomen in the areas of the numerous incisions, but this is not biggest pain. My back and tailbone are causing me the most pain. I had multiple back surgeries 16 years ago, resulting in needing 6 screws and 2 rods in my lower back. I also fell on ice about 10 years ago or so and fractured my tailbone. Both are extremely painful when sitting on uncomfortable furniture. The hospital room has an uncomfortable bed and and uncomfortable chair. I have no idea when I will get out of here. All of my numbers look good except for my white blood cell count. It is at 19 bil/L. It will need to drop quite a bit to be let go. White blood cell counts can increase for many reasons, but the main reasons are stress, infection, and injury. I definitely have an injury, surgery. I am definitely stressed. I hope there is not an infection in the colon. I almost certainly have a sinus infection as I have one many, many times a year.

I have an ileostomy, a bag to collect waste while the area of the colon that was affected during surgery heals. The ileostomy will be reversed, which will require another surgery, more anesthesia, another hospital stay.

I do not do well in the hospital. I am not doing well mentally. Not many things can stress me out like a hospital stay. I fear I will never leave the hospital. I fear my family will see they are perfectly fine without me. I fear I will be forgotten about. These are all unfounded fears, but I still have them. I cannot help it. I hate having no control. I am uncomfortable, stressed out, and nervous.

Many people will say "just let them give you meds to help these things", and sure, that may work for some people. I hate meds that mess with my mind. Extra strength Tylenol and a mild muscle relaxer have been the only pain meds I have taken, for the most part. Last night I did take oxycodone to try to relieve the pain from my tailbone. There are multiple reasons I do not like to take pain meds. The first, as previously mentioned, is I do not like things that mess with my head. The second, and more important reason, is that my entire family, both my mother's and father's side, have addiction problems and I will NEVER, and I mean NEVER, let that happen to me. I have a high pain tolerance. The pain in my abdomen is mild, in my opinion. I was walking the hallways 4.5 hours after I made it to my room Thursday night (walking was technically Friday morning - 2:30AM). I do not need the narcotic pain relievers therefore I am not going to take them. My main goal in life has been to not be like my addict family. I understand it is a disease, but it is a disease I can control. If I do not take the pills I cannot become addicted.

This is mostly a rant from me and less of an update, and I apologize for that, but I feel like I am going to explode. I need out of here before I lose my mind.

Fear of the Known

Nicholas Mullins — Tue, 12 Sep 2023 23:45:29 GMT

This is a follow-up to the last post. I was going to write a follow-up earlier, but things keep changing. A quick recap of the last post. I was feeling sick, having some pain, and symptoms for a few years, but my doctor never referred me to a specialist. We moved, I found a new doctor and saw a couple of specialists. The GI doctor wanted to rule out a few things so one of the tests performed was a colonoscopy. This found a large tumor in my rectum. I did not specify where in the previous blog, but I have nothing to hide. It is better to talk about things than keep things hidden. The last post left off with me waiting on the biopsy results so I could schedule the surgery.

The last blog post was titled "Fear of the Unknown". So what did I do while waiting on the biopsy results? Well, I tried to not think about it. I did a poor job of that. I hid my real thoughts from my wife and son because I did not want them to worry. On the outside I was my normal self. On the inside, I was freaking out a little. One other thing I did was get another tattoo. I have two tattoos from when I was 18-19 years old. One of the Death of Superman logo, and the other is a Chinese symbol (I was 18, cut me some slack). Both these tattoos are on my upper arms. The new tattoo is on my forearm and it is a full-color Superman logo. I have wanted it for years and decided now was a great time to get it.

I have had numerous tests and scans since then. I had a liver ultrasound and an abdominal CT scan. The CT scan found a few things, such as a hiatal hernia, but nothing major. The biopsy results came back, and the biopsy was benign (not cancerous). My GI doctor never contacted me. Not after the ultrasound results came in. Not after the CT scan results came in. Not after the biopsy results came in. His office kept promising he would contact me, but he never did. He still hasn't. It is so difficult to find a quality doctor.

I contacted a surgeon since I knew I would need to have surgery. I met with the surgeon a couple of weeks ago. The GI doc was slightly off on the location of the tumor, not by a lot, but enough to make a huge difference in the surgery needed. The surgeon wanted me to have a pelvic MRI to get a better idea of the location and size of the tumor. He told me that depending on the location of the tumor there were three surgical options.

Remove the tumor through the "back door". This is the least invasive and the best-case scenario.
Laparoscopic - This is the second-best scenario. A few incisions in the stomach area, some long fancy tools, and the tumor is removed.
The tumor is too close to the "exit" and some parts would be removed. I would need to use a colostomy bag for the rest of my life. Out of the three options, this is the worst, by a large margin.

Thankfully my wife works with doctors and was able to get me an MRI fairly quickly. The results came back extremely quickly as well. I looked at the results, did some Googling, and learned some new terms. Did you know that "anal verge" is a thing? Neither did I, but I learned about it. If I ever start a band I think "Anal Verge" will be the name.

I had my post-MRI follow-up with the surgeon today and he went over the results of the MRI. The first thing he said is that the tumor is almost certainly cancerous. Remember how I said things kept changing? This is one of those things. I was not too afraid when he said cancer because I remembered the MRI results said the lymph nodes were normal, the tumor was just in the muscle, and it was not intertwined with any major blood vessels. If you are going to be told you have, or might have cancer, it is great to know beforehand that it is isolated and not wrapped around blood vessels. The major question I had was what type of surgery would be required, or, more importantly, whether would I need to use a colostomy bag for the rest of my life. He said it is very unlikely I will need to use a colostomy bag forever. He is unable, at this time, to say which of the first two options for surgery he can do. I need one more scope for that. Thankfully he has an opening tomorrow morning (the day after my follow-up appointment). If I need the laparoscopic surgery, I will need to use a colostomy bag for 6-8 weeks, and that I can deal with.

You may be asking why I am being so open about my health issues and I have numerous reasons for that. One, I need to get things off of my chest. I told you that I hide my true thoughts and feelings from my wife and son, so this is my outlet. Second, if my being open and honest about health scares, worrying, and whatever else I say in this blog can help one person then I am happy to share. Finally, we do not need to hide our problems from everyone. We do not need to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.

The below lyrics, from my favorite artist, sum up my past month or so.

A lot of people ask me, am I afraid of death?
Hell yeah, I'm afraid of death
I don't want to die yet

Eminem, "Still don't give a fuck"

Fear of the Unknown

Nicholas Mullins — Sun, 13 Aug 2023 20:27:07 GMT

It has been a while since I have written a post here, or on my more work related blog at https://mullins.io. I have been very tired as of recently and have felt somewhat sick. I have not felt great in quite a few years, but chalked it up to getting older. I mentioned some of the symptoms I was experiencing to a previous primary care doctor and he never really seemed to think it was anything to worry about. He never advised me to see specialists or anything like that. He did not even tell me I had diabetes. He put my on meds, but when I asked if I had diabetes he never really gave a yes or no answer. I know that I should have be a little more pushy to get a yes or no from him and I am not really sure why I didn't. This post is not about diabetes. My blood sugar is fine 99.99% of the time. I have high A1C, but that is getting better. I moved in January 2023 and decided it was time to change primary care doctors. I was recommended a doctor from family and the new doctor is about a mile away from the new house. This first visit with the new doctor was a little surprising. I mentioned that I had 20+ kidney stones the past couple of years, and some gastrointestinal issues I was experiencing. He wondered why I did not see a urologist or a GI doc. I explained that I mentioned the symptoms to my previous doctor and he never suggested to see a specialist. I was given some names of specialists and started making appointments. I had numerous tests done by both specialists. The urologist found the presence of kidney stones, which was not a surprise. They are "normal" kidney stones and he said some people are just unlucky and have numerous kidney stones. Awesome, I am an unlucky one. The GI doc also ordered different tests and told me I should have a colonoscopy. He prescribed some meds to help with symptoms I was experiencing and they helped. I scheduled the colonoscopy and it was about a 2-3 month wait. I finally went in for the procedure this past Friday (I am writing this the Sunday after the procedure). I was expecting to maybe hear they found some small polyps, but everything looked normal. I did not hear that. The doctor told me they found a 5cm tumor. They biopsied it and biopsied something else as well. They also provided my with my images. They said I need to have the tumor surgically removed once the biopsy results come in. I have had numerous surgeries. Two back surgeries. One to remove the herniated portion of two disks and the second to remove the disks entirely after the first surgey did not successfully work. I now have six screws and two rods in my lower back. I had wisdom teeth surgery, as do many people. I had sinus surgery to fix my malformed sinuses to allow me to breathe better. I also had surgery on my throat/neck area to remove a large mass. The mass was benign thyroid tissue, not attached to my thyroid. All of these surgeries were in the past 17-ish years. Lately I have felt that I have a surgery every two to three years. Pain does not bother me, but I hate anesthesia. I hate the groggy feeling that lingers for hours. I hate waking up nauseous. I HATE ANESTHESIA!

I am now sitting here waiting to hear the results of the biopsies. I was told it could be a week or longer. That is a lot of waiting. I know that no matter what I need to have surgery. While I do not like the idea of more surgery, I am fine with it. I can even deal with the anesthesia that I hate. The difficult part to deal with is the waiting for the results. The unknown. It could be cancerous, or it could be benign. It is a fairly large tumor for the colon at 5cm. I enjoy science and I really like facts and figures. This means I have Googled a ton, both about 5cm colon tumors and colon surgeries. The waiting is really getting to me. I am not a patient person. I like to get things done and I cannot do anything right now except wait... and think. So many things are running through my head. Sadly one of the worst things running through my head is about my job. The job market and economy is very unstable right now and I fear what will happen if the biopsy comes back as cancerous and in this job market my company deems me as unnecessary and I get laid off. I need my income and I need my health insurance. I know this should be the last thing I worry about, but it is the first thing. My income provides for my family. I am not worried about the recovery from the surgery. That will be simple. I was walking around the grocery store four days after having titanium inserted into my spine. I know I will be up and about very quickly after colon cancer. I may even work from the hospital as that is what I do. I have to keep busy. The upcoming work week will serve as a distraction as I await the results of the biopsy, or at least I hope it will. I just want to know the results so I can plan the next steps. I know I will be OK. I am Superman. A tumor will not stop me. I am not done yet. I have a lot more to do. I am ready for whatever fight I need to be in, but I am not ready for the unknown. I hate the unknown. I may hate the unknown more than I hate anesthesia. I just want to get it overwith so I can continue on with my life. I am, of course, hoping the results of the biopsy are that the tumor is benign, but I am ready if it is not. I just need to know. I have been a software developer for a long time so many things run through my head in pseudocode. If cancerous, then fight, else have surgery and get on with my life. While alive, keeping working hard.

I know this post was kind of all over the place, but that is how my head is right now. My thoughts are all over the place. I will find clarity soon, hopefully this week. I will get answers and I can formulate a plan. If you read this far, thank you! Also, I will try to write a little more often.

Sportsball

Nicholas Mullins — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 01:11:46 GMT

My first post on this new blog will be about sports. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge sports fan. I grew up playing sports, both playground sports, and organized sports. I even coached my son in flag football. I have many opinions when it comes to sports and I will share some of those here.

I will start with the NCAA Women's Championship game. I see a lot of criticism regarding Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark. People are commenting about the taunting, specifically Angel Reese pointing to her ring finger. Give me a break. Harmless taunting is part of sports. I do not see any of these people criticizing male athletes for this type of taunting. Angel Reese pointed to her ring finger when the game was said and done. This is harmless and does not show a lack of sportsmanship. She also did the "You can't see me" taunt popularized by WWE wrestler John Cena. Again, this is a harmless taunt. Both Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark balled out during the tournament. They are competitors. They have had nothing but good things to say about each other. They respect each other. When two excellent athletes go head-to-head there will almost certainly be some level of taunting. I put it at the same level as Dikembe Mutombo's finger wag, a player leaving their arm up after draining a 3-pointer, or a football player high-stepping into the endzone. These talking heads that are complaining about the taunting need to get over themselves and shut the hell up.

Next up I will talk about football. The Detroit Lions are doing all the right things this offseason. We still need to see what they do in the draft, but I have confidence they will get it right. I feel really odd saying this about the Lions though. As a lifelong Detroit sports fan, I know to not get my hopes up about the Lions, but this feels different. Now let me share my thoughts on some other football things. I will start with Deshaun Watson and the Cleveland Browns. I know Deshaun Watson has not been found guilty of a crime, but the allegations are enough. It is very doubtful that 20+ women are all telling the same lies. I was starting to come around on the Browns and hoping they did well until they traded for Watson. I hope Cleveland goes 0-17 and Watson does not throw a single touchdown. I wish them nothing but the worst. On to Tom Brady. Brady is the G.O.A.T. I would probably have Brady at one and Montana at two. Peyton Manning is also up there in the top five somewhere. I really wish Brady would not have come back last year after retiring. I really thought he would have done better. The Buccaneer's struggles are not on him. The entire team underperformed. Tampa Bay is going to have difficulty finding another long-term starting QB. They are playing in a terrible division and there is a good chance the division winner could be 9-8. This will mean they will not get a top-five draft pick which is what you usually need to get a top-tier QB in the draft. I know how funny it is to say that after talking about Brady being the G.O.A.T. He was a 6th round QB. I am not saying it is impossible to find a later-round QB that turns out to be good. I am saying it is usually more difficult and they usually need to sit behind a veteran for a few seasons, much like Aaron Rogers did with Brett Favre, and possibly Jordan Love with Aaron Rodgers. Speaking of Aaron Rodgers... what the hell is going on with that guy. Darkness retreats, ayahuasca, and taking Covid vaccine advice from Joe Rogan. I used to like Aaron Rodgers. Now I am hoping he retires soon. He is probably going to be on the Jets soon and that is worse than retiring.

What about baseball? The baseball season has just started and I do not have many thoughts yet, but Shohei Ohtani is crazy! A great pitcher and a great batter. Can the Detroit Tigers get him somehow?

Go Blue!